Driving in Nairobi: GREAM Tales

I try very hard to write a post but most of what I start end up being just another notepad file in My Documents file. May be one day I’ll be able to put them up but I don’t know which one to start with. This post is a merger of a few notepads on driving and fuel woes.

Fuel prices have hit the roof tops but we still driving and still stuck in traffic. But this doesn’t mean it’s all buttered and smooth for everyone. The other day someone told me that even in 1960s the 70s, 80s and 90s people still complained of the high cost of fuel and living. A colleague of mine who was in his teens in the Seventies was telling me the other day that bread used to be about 30 cents or something like that and he only remembers eating it around Christmas!

With some filling stations hitting KES110 per litre, I now know the cheapest filling stations on each major rd around Nairobi. Thika Rd at the moment has the cheapest fuel compared to Ngong, Mombasa, Langata roads and Waiyaki Way. My estimation of distance to travel on a litre has failed me a number of times leading to embarrassing, life threatening situations.

Case in point, I just dropped a friend at the airport in this Toyota Harrier 3000cc with VVTi engine(I had put 6lts at the first Shell on Mombasa Rd). Coming back to town, there is heavy traffic so I use the South C route which is also not any better but it’s easier because I overlap to save on fuel and time. I successfully get on Langata Rd at the Madaraka Estate round about. I tell myself to use the Aerodrome Rd so I can easily get to Upper Hill. It happens to be clogged just as Mombasa Rd was and am stuck there for like 10 to 15 minutes. Just when I am about to get to Bunyala Rd & Uhuru highway junction, the vehicle runs out of fuel! It can’t even kick a freestyle to the nearest filling station. A jerrican at the Mobil on Bunyala Rd costs 50 Shillings but I am glad that I didn’t walk far to get it. Coming back to the vehicle, other motorists are very amused to see me putting the fuel. “Enyewe economy imekuwa muadhara” (The Economy is taking its toll) one of them quips! “Hiyo ni gari ya kuweka full tank” (That’s a car you should fuel to full tank!) Another one shouts, not knowing that it will cost me something in the region of KES7500 and the calendar reads 21st of the month. A matatu conductor shouts loudly from Uhuru highway, “Uza gari ununue mafuta!” to the delight of his passengers.

Another instance, I go to meet this client who works at the airport. This time round it’s a Toyota Caldina 1800cc 3S. On my way back, just when I got to Panari Sky, he calls me back to go for a cheque. Looking at the fuel gauge, it spells doom. The cheque is very tempting so I just turn and go for it. That’s the day I realized that from the Airport, the first station on Mombasa Rd is the Caltex near Parkside Towers (Zain’s Head Office) and the first one on your way towards town is the Oil-Libya at the junction that takes you to South C. Someone should act fast and have one in between am sure you can make a kill.

Another day, an old flame (she was in fourth when I was a ‘binary’ in high skool!) who lives and works in Thika calls she want me to go see her. I get there in about 40 minutes in this Toyota Starlet EP82 1993 Model. After a kinky time and several glasses of rum laced coke, I have to get back home because the following day happens to be a Monday. I cover the distance in what seems like less than 30 minutes. About 3/4 of a Kilometer from home the starlet stalls! Where I live there is this 1.5 KM of an untarmacked stretch off the main road. Its one of the most dreaded places. I have heard tales about this section being a hot spot for car jacking, muggings, rapes and all manner of scary stuff that sound likes its straight from a horror movie (I moved there few months ago!). I have been listening to Classic 105 and the radio announces the time 10.55pm before adding “This Sunday on Classic 105, women, rule!” I tell myself it’s the truest shit I have heard all day (Well, except the message passed in form of itchy scratches on my back and the dracula like bites on my neck in Thika) I however do not rue at my inadequate fueling or the carburetor, I envisage what will happen to me if I don’t act fast!

Sometime back, last year, am driving home with a colleague from work and it’s around 7.30pm. I get to this road block just outside Kilimani Primary School on Argwings-Kodhek Rd. Before the officer comes over, I ask my colleague Walter for his Driver’s License which I gladly show the officer when he comes ask. I don’t carry it with me because of switching vehicles now and then. He takes a serious look at it and hands its back. He goes to the other front left side and looks at the insurance cover with his really bright torch. “Walter, why are you driving an uncovered vehicle?” Walter and I look at each other fully convinced that our cover is varied. “Don’t yakety yak to us about the cover, as long as we are concerned it’s varied till midnight tonite!” An agitated Walter shouts back at the officer. “Your cover expired at 12.00 noon today!” We gasp at the revelation. Before I come out of the vehicle to talk nicely to the officer, who is clearly angry after the altercation with the real Walter, we come up with a plan. I come out to engage with the officers and Walter jumps to the driver’s seat and drives off at high speed leaving the officers and I (acting) astonished! I get handcuffed but managed to remain calm as they blubber something about a dead body, drugs, arms or a loot in the boot of vehicle and that old “utasema huko mbele” Half an hour later, Walter comes back in an unbranded taxi from Yaya Centre, this time as my boss, we part with a little something. Another half hour, am home, feet on the stool watching prime time news!

Consolation For You

As we complain how difficult life has become, a friend in Pakistan tells me that it now costs between 2000-3000US$ to feed his family of 5 in a month!

Misinformed information

There is this Business News reporter with NTV reporting from Kenya Oil Refinery who said on Thursday 7th, “Kenya Oil Refinery was celebrating 6 Million Hours of incidence free……..blah blah blah” If you do the maths, you will understand.

R.I.P

Bernie Marc

The Playlist

Lost Tapes album by Nas