Champions Not: Blame it on The Rain

Now that European Leagues are back in action, am going to find myself out much more than I have been since May. Actually since the finals of the champions league, I haven’t been out much. Champions League champions league! The last night!

I left the office that Wednesday in high spirits. I was headed to Embakasi’s Nyayo Estate to see this mamaa. With the traffic on Mombasa road that day, I got there at around 7. Had a nice dinner and a number of glasses of Famous. Mamaa has no love for football and there was no way I was going to miss the Man Utd vs Barca game. That meant I wasn’t going to watch the there and had to leave at around 9. By my estimation, 30 minutes was enough for me to get home just in time for the game. Took me down stairs with an umbrella as it was raining heavily, started the engine and I was good to go.

On reaching some place on North Airport Road, the Lancer went dead! Tried to crank it once, twice, thrice, dead! I opened the hood checked the battery and noticed one of the terminals had gotten loose. Searched for a spanner size ten which I always carry with me when driving and tightened the damn thing. By then, I was seriously wet! The rain was not sparing a brother not to mention that section has no street lights except for the lighting provided by the neighboring buildings. By the time I was done fixing it, I could hear people cheering from a bar afar and could tell the game was on. Got into the car kicked once, twice, thrice, dead! Battery was too low. No one was in sight therefore no one to help kick start the damn car!

I walked to the bar where the cheers were emanating from. The rain hitting my hide sets madly. By the time I got to the door, I was dripping wet! Not to mention I had no jacket, just a plain shirt, a vest with the tie left in the car. I could feel my socks were wet too! That’s how heavy it was! When I walked in into the bar, I looked like those two reds guys in the Guinness commercial who walk into a blues territory, only that after the game I wasn’t going to be ‘hi fiving’. Most of the seats had been taken and had to have my beer standing for the first half of the game. By half time, and a goal down, some disgruntled fans walked out. I was happy that I was going to have a tall stool for myself but mad at the unpatriotic mafans. A true devil never goes down! That’s how it has been since the epic win of the 98/99 season.

Second half came and Man Utd couldn’t crack the gallant Barca midfield. The second goal got in, and some more fans walked out. Game came to an end, my team had lost, I was wet and cold though I feel it was much colder but the alcohol gave a little sense of warmth. The ‘mahaters’ almost drowned us with their celebrations. I don’t think the Spanish League has such a following and I concluded these were disgruntled Gunner fans who had lost big time to Man Utd in the semis, and had lost a fan to suicide after the thrashing right here in Embakasi! Liverfools who had relinquished the EPL, Chelseans who were on the verge on coming out of the season trophyless, and others who just didn’t like Christiano.

After the game, I convinced some three guys to help me out and they obliged. They could have done me a lot of injustice if they didn’t help after I had thrown them some rounds. It was my game plan on a night when Fergie didn’t seem to have much of it. We went to the car and we tried to start it without success. I opened the bonnet and we checked the distributor. Wet wet wet! When I was fixing the battery the damn thing got wet from the rain hence the little sparks couldn’t ignite the fuel. We pushed the car to a nearby shade as the rain got even heavier! Got a dry cloth from the boot and opened the distributor and wiped it dry. One of the mboyz who knew a thing or two about cars got into the driver’s seat and we tried to kick start it again. The thing came on and I got a warm feeling inside! I was going to get home finally or so I thought! The thing went off! WHAT NOW! I screamed! We attempted again and again and it couldn’t start again! SHIT! I cursed! Cold and wet, expected at work at 8.00 in the morning, and here I was on a Wednesday night about 40-45kms away from home, clock reading waaaay past sleep time! 2am!

Then an angel, unexpected at that hour called! “Why are you still awake at this hour?” I asked. “You didn’t call or text or say you got home well, are you ok? You sound shaken, is it because of the game? Did you loose?” She couldn’t believe I was 5-8km away and hadn’t told her of my predicaments much earlier. She sent her cab over to come for me. Meanwhile, we downed another round with the mboyz who told me that that was their local. A guard offered to look after my junk for the night for hundred bob till morning and off I went back to Nyayo.

Morning came, 5.30, just before the night guard had left. Looked at the thing and there seemed to be no hope for it to start. Took a matatu to town and took another home. Shower, change and off to work. The banter at work for loosing the game was just too much. But they didn’t know what had cut during the same night. I had ignored my workmate’s phone calls during the game. I couldn’t reply to their texts, the fingers too frozen.

I sneaked out of work in the afternoon with a mechanic and off to Embakasi to check on the Lancer. Kumbe the guy who had offered to start the car the previous night ‘kanyangiad’ too much fuel leading to an over flow, the plugs got wet and that why the car couldn’t start! Trouble with carburetors! We got some new plugs and the thing came to life!

The 09/10 season? I don’t have much hope with my team. This year I see Chelsea and Inter Milan doing well. Any surprise, may be Real Madrid. I however hope to be home on the night of the finals in May 2010.

Playlist

Kirk Whalum – All I do

Facing Grim: Gream Stays Afloat

Revivification

Savvy mentioned in twitter (yes I got hooked too and thats where I have been making noise) that I have abandoned (that’s a strong word you used lady!) my blog. Well yeah, this place feels cold. I won’t go into finer details on reasons because they are many. I have a number of drafts in my soon to be formatted HD but I can’t seem to trace them all. Too much stash I found in that 80GB from hentai to some old old old jazz singles (yes I do that too not just hardcore underground hip hop) collection.

Birthday Boyz

Gream’s birthday slides past like any other day. I was however surprised that I share the day with a very brilliant writer. He suggests we meet and see who is the oldest. Then 3 days after, 6^th July, this other equally brilliant writer shares a birthday with this thought provoking one.  I also noted ¹/₃ of my alter ego’s friends on Facebook are July fellaz!

What’s cutting?

This year, has been tough in the business. Reduced corporate spending on asset finance has seen my line of hustle take a beating. The company has experienced tough times as result and factors like (IMHO), poor management. For example taking a huge ass loan (10M!) to buy Safaricom shares during the IPO in anticipation of a quick kill on the onset of trading in the NSE was a bad bad idea. Well, we all know shares are not doing very well and the loans have to be repaid. Due to this and a myriad of other problems, the company has cut on both unnecessary and necessary spending. An example of this; the line of business we are in banks heavily on print media advertising and major ad once a fortnight is the worst you should do, coupled with daily line or two in the classified , for you to scoop a market far and wide. With 3 adverts in a year, and classified far in between, we are left to do with walk-ins, come back customers and referrals. This has hurt the business, the heads and hurts harder, the foot soldiers. I am one of the foot soldiers.

Bucket list

I have observed all these and taken precautions. Though the situation isn’t greamy yet, precautions have to be taken. I have cut down on expenses too though I haven’t subjugated my nephew to what economikriser here did to us years ago. My bucket list of things to, and not to do, looks like this…

The Big Screen at Home

What used to be a movie or two (depending on time & movie) a week has come down to movies mainly on the couch with a glass of juice, a mug of coffee or tea and at times a reasonable amounts of kahawa or cane liqueur.  My face was too kawaida at the theatres that they knew my favorite seat and I even got to know David, a projector guy with Nu-Metro. David, thank you for the complimentary tickets. Now you know for sure I haven’t been there for sometime because I notice they have re-branded to Silverbird. I have also reduced airtime at Alliance Française. Yeah, I catch plays now and then though cutting down on this feels like a mistake.

The Shining

I hate to polish shoes. I have a post about that and will put it up sometime down the line. That said, for years, say 3-4, I never polished my shoes. I am, or I used to be those guys you find seated on those stools getting their shoes fixed. The Classic Shoe Shiners at NHIF in Community or Nakumatt Lifestyle and the lone Kiwi guy at The Junction (this is where I catch  or used to catch my flicks) must be wondering where I disappeared to. I used to warm those stools atleast three times a week and this is an expense I have done away with.

Screw the local & other joints

Another stool I haven’t been warming much is that at the bar. I haven’t been out much lately. Though I suspect this will be watered down at the beginning of the European leagues football action. Yes I do that too, and I shout hoarse when a beautiful goal is scored. Though I didn’t on the night of Champion’s league Final in May. Now you know where my allegiance lies. I have found myself out on very few occasions and ones that I had to be there because friends want me there. Now you know why I wont be telling tales like this one

Rationing Candle lights

When I walk to any of the coffee joints I frequent, there is a waiter or a waitress who knows I like him mine extra hot, strong, with milk (I correct them when they asks “white or black?” it’s with milk damit! Nothing like white coffee!) That way I can have it with little or no sugar and the flavor is timam. My house coffee with a plain croissant habit has been cut down from daily vice to once a week at worst or with a friend. My twice a week visit to mama Oliech’s joint has come down too. I bet you didn’t know I love fish that much. Though I don’t like the fish fillet served in most of the upmarket restaurants. It’s never as fress as that at Olieches. Dinners at those Chinese, Indian or Ethiopian restaurants have also been cut down and it’s a huge saving I must say.

Screw Tao

I have cut down on going to town unnecessarily. Town has been for wedding committee meetings (though I have skipped a number), a fortnightly haircut. Office errands to town haven’t been thrown my way much lately. Going to town is a hustle. Time spent in traffic and when you get there, there is a random lunch or an unplanned dinner, coffee, tea, or one for the road (which is never one!), unbudgeted for purchases, fare spent or fuel guzzled. This has seen me get home earlier than usual, a lot saved and a well rested me to boot.

Matatus I didn’t say they bad vs Self Drives

Hitching a matatu has been fulfilling. Even with a ride available for use, mine or the company’s, I am avoiding the use one of one. You fuel; you fix any other problems in it. But am not ready to shoulder the cost of replacing the suspension and bushes and fixing any other problems a 1991 Celica available for use is having. I used it for a day and it almost had me overturning in it because of a problem with the front left axle. Then someone puts pressure on my behind to sell it. I can’t sell the car in that shape, friend, fix it first. Don’t expect me to then you disappear after it’s put in order. There is also a 1987 Lancer available with a loud exhaust just like the Celica but this one is nasty! She gave me hell of a night in the rain during the champion’s league final.  A post about that night lies somewhere in the HD. Don’t even mention the fuel she gobbles. She is up for sale too.

Home? Yeah, what about home?

Home front, a less filled fridge. A chicken or two less. Beef cut. Lots of beans and vegiez taking over. I am expecting power rationing (however much we are not liking it) to bring the bills down. Any more cutting would mean there will be no microwave & hot shower. Why am kidding on the hot shower part when I know very well I hate cold showers? Water has been used sparingly (cut shower time by half ie 15 mins) and the results looking positive. Water bill has been cut by atleast half though still high compared to my friends who are on kanjuz line because our flat and neighboring ones rely solely on a borehole owned by our landlord and other area lords. On saving water, the cisterns in use in most households use atleast 10 litres every time we flush the toilet! May be those building new dwellings should use modern ones that use at most 3 litres. I have seen a number of these and they it quite a saving. I thank God for the water part because I know what it feels to be on water ration I remember how year 2000 and 2003 was like.

Looking the part

I haven’t picked this CAT I’ve been salivating for in City Walk and neither has that denim I have seen at Ivory, another Enkarasha and another shop whose name I cant recall at Prestige Ngong Road been picked. I am keeping away until its safe to spend and feel guilty not. The shirts feel adequate, for now, and so do the trousers the shoes and ties which I haven’t been keen on lately. However my weekend or casual wear needs a serious make over.  Thank you, you who got me that beautiful stripped shirt .Ok, not that she reads this blog just counting a blessing.

What about the P1 dream?

My mulika mwizi slipped out of my pockets and disappeared but some how I was like good riddance! Because if it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have hit 1300 tweets in the three months I have been at it. I dint however replace it with this. Not just yet. Not just yet. Whatever is in use for now is not so bad after all however light and tiny it is. Besides, I have a feeling (delusional or not) of luck with Samsungs considering it’s the only model I have never lost without a neck, an arm twist, just a slip or a smooth pick-pocketing. Hope I just didn’t cook my goose by saying that.

The Award Goes to….

I guess the most satisfying of all cuts.  Emotional baggage. Not that I carry it around like a girl’s clutch though. I’ve been avoiding cursing a driver who cuts into my lane rudely. Ignoring that other driver that suddenly makes a turn without indicating, see, I have been telling myself, “hey buddy, you aint driving that one, concentrate in this one”, haven’t been in an ugly exchange with anyone, bamba-20s(Nziokxs) cut loose, phone book size reduced and honestly, its good riddance. Am less angry with life, and my heart feels lighter. I have had loads of laughs from crazy tweets to the few blogposts I have been able to read. I have also revived an old me that read a novel every week. Though this has been rearranged to include inspirational and any other book worth. Right now doing The Temple and The Lodge by Michael Baigent & Richard Leigh. And putting up this post cuts down on pressure to do one too.

Sunshine after the rain?

I got to the shore of the Feb money that you were itching to know what get rich quick it was. That add, the savings made have been put into some shares that I think will do well. But I cant be too wrong on this and again I consider shares a long term investment until the day I can buy do a million shares today, offload the next week. I want to believe 98 Degrees were right when they sung, “there is sunshine after the rain…….”

The Curtailing clique

Myself: Even as I do the cuts I have found myself slipping out of self designed path. For example, the other day I was in town to catch a hair cut and take advantage of a 50% off (it was their offer for a birthday boy) massage at my barber shop and decided to have a beer and ended up having three when I met a lady friend who I went to college with, with two other ladies. We left the bar together, me for home and them to where everyone seems to be going out lately. Westlands. They ended up propositioning me. Not for what you are thinking gadamit! It was a joint! A puff pass! I dint partake because it reminds me of a beating I got once from mama gream(and another post is gestated. This one will come to term; it will give you abit of gream’s history on indulgence)

The company: With the advertising down, being on commission and no retainer fee, and you have to do what you have to do, my colleague and I have been spending our own money to put classifieds. A line on Daily Nation, a single like goes for between KES 239 to 320 depending on the day. The Standard does KES 184 what nation used to charge three years ago. Though for you to be in the map Nation is the way to go. Though its not a guarantee at all that you will receive a call let alone a buyer!

Landlord: Even as times get tougher, most of friends say their rent is up by atleast 2k. I haven’t been spared too. Though the increase comes in September and this we were informed in May. When I become an investment guru, I want to own a couple of dwellings too.

Weddings: Am not walking down the isle. My friends are and I promise you its not easy being in all those committees (5 of them this year, so far two to go). I sit on one every Wednesday every two weeks for a wedding coming in November and every Thursday for another that comes at end of August. Brothers, sisters, don’t rush into such stuff. You put lots of pressure on your family and friends. If you have to rush, make it simple and not high end budget. Get those passport brokers. They also fix such necessities and at a tiny fee on request.

KPLC: I blame them for a blackout that gave my old TV a knockout it never recovered from on the night of the Confederations Cup. It was left with black screen with no picture but it had sound. I was told resuscitation couldn’t work and it therefore had to be replaced. An expense not budgeted for. All the same, I love the new one.

What’s in your cut list?

Playlist:

Sunshine to the rain – Anthony Hamilton Feat. Miri Ben Ari & Scarface

She was Just a Friend – Anthony Hamilton

The violin on those two songs just too tight

Bizarre Rides On The Mat Side

The other day I took a matatu home that had this playlist that reminded me why I love hip hop. Am used to getting into some that play music that really annoys me like binti kiziwi, wezere and others I dont want to mention. It is very rare to come across one that plays Chino XL, Canibus, Mobb Deep (old tracks like shook ones), Pharcyde, M.O.P, Kool G Rap, ATCQ, AZ & Nas, Gangstarr, EPMD Tech9,  & Keith Murray! I mean, all this were into play! For the first time like in the old days when I was younger and had the right to be stupid, I didnt feel like alighting despite the fact that I have all that in my computer. It made me think of a post I can put up on matatus.

Bizarre Side

I dont know what it is with matatu drivers & crew that make them think they own the roads. They will hoot at you and hull insults when you stop to give way or stop at a red light. Citi Hoppa & KBS are also notorious for this especially along Kenyatta Avenue. At one time a driver told me that those in personal cars have made it already and are never in a hurry & are clumsy drivers and thats what makes them furious.  Their failure to give way leads to many small accidents which turn out to be very expensive for the insurance companies.

Chicken Drama

Where I reside, I have two routes to get me to the office or back. One that is more civilized but take me through town then I take another to either home or to the office. This is longer, then I have to bum in the morning (evening is never a problem because I dont get home early) traffic and for me to get to work in time, I have to be awake by 6.30. The second route gets me to the office in 15-20 minutes if I have a ride and 30 minutes if I am taking a matatu. However the route has not police crack downs and it therefore has the most uncouth, archaic and moronic matatu crew I have ever come across. To this day, 5 years after Michuki rules, they carry four passengers per seat. Every time a conductor instructs, “wanne wanne kama orbit” I feel like punching the phuk of the foul mouth.  This route also happens to have lots of mama mbogas and baba maziwa coming from the market with fresh produce. Woe unto you if you have to sit next to one. The other day I had to suspend my legs in the air so I wouldn’t step on  chicken. One lady got in and I asked her if she had colored nail polish on her toe nails otherwise the chicken were going to have a fiesta. I couldn’t help laughing because she had to alight after afew meters, horrified. I had to look for a shoe shiner fast to clean the white, brown & green mavi ya kuku after getting to work. Afew days later we shared a seat. “I have closed shoes today”, she said as I cursed the missed opportunity to be wooed by the said toes that the chicken had fallen for. I had a picture of the chicken ride but cant trace it in my computer. I should put it up when I find it.

Driven a Matatu?

Another thing with this route is, the matatus can stay in one stage for sometime waiting for passengers. Its the kind that one can pack bags in it then rush back to the house for a shower and still get it there at the stage. One evening when heading home, the driver gets off and goes to have a smoke while the conductor got into a mutura joint as we waited. I was itching to get home to watch churchill live but they didnt seem to be in a hurry or bothered by our impatience. I got so infuriated, jumped into the driver’s seat and sped off to the amazement and shock of other passengers. Not to mention I didn’t pay for the ride even though it was a meagre KES3o. It just felt so good. I got off the next stage (about 500 meters or so) and got home just in time. I dont know whether they got their matatu back but am sure none of them is pulling that stunt again on passengers.

Gossip Folks

I hate it when someone asks the driver to lower the volume so he/she can make or pick up an important call. Then proceed to talk loudly like no one else is around. The other day I had a chuckle when a lady picked up a call and couldnt help overhearing the guy on the other end tell her how ‘game’ she was. At times those NOKlAs can be that embarrassing.  Dont pick up a call in matatu. Politely tell the other party you are not in a position to talk.

Insecurity

The said bizarre route is a haven of muggers. So I don’t use it if its very late. It is the same route that this happened. I hear lots of tales of muggings and pick pocketing. There is this notorious group on Ngong Road that gets into a matatu (either route 111, 102, 103, 135, 4, 2) with brown envelopes. Once inside, one of them exclaims “kuna polisi fungeni mishipi” in the mad rush, your pockets are emptied or your handbag cut up and fleeced off your valuables. I hear route 16 to Highrise has weekly reports of hijacks. There is this story of a Thika bound matatu that was hijacked and driven to a coffee plantation where the passengers were stripped naked and each one of them tied to a coffee bush.

The Bright Side

Did I mentioned I got a phone number from the chicken drama lady? Ooh I did. She is a fiiinee one. I call her Chicken Head (tongue in cheek). Some may take it as cheap game but matatus are a fertile ground for pick-ups.

Sometimes back I met this lady with a clothing shop in town. Convincing me a pink shirt will look good took a while but it did work. I have little trouble now looking for good ties & quality socks. I should be getting some good business too from her soon.

I get to talk to alot to matatu drivers to try find out what it is with them and the viability of having your own on the road. Through this I have come to learn alot about the business. If you get a good route you could make good chums. In some other routes, chaos and an endless list of ‘eaters‘ exist.

When I had the K750, it is in matatus that I read most of the blogs. You take a good seat and have a good laugh at the amazing posts that people put up. Cant wait to get back online on mobile.

Edit on 8th May

This was not part of the original post but I had to add this after taking another crazy ride. Was going to work this morning and I got that seat next to the driver. It was raining, the visibility was poor and the driver slowed. I wondered why he was not using the wipers. When it became too much, I turned on the wipers. Instead  of them moving, there came those loud and noisy horns we call parariraz.  The driver told me they dont work any more and he came to a stop. The conductor came out and moved the wipers himself. The demister does not work too and driver asked me to wipe the windscreen for him. In place of the demister, was the loud speaker!

Playlist

The Score (Album)- The Fugees